My mind turns a cheek to thought –
Can’t think when feelings turn to nought
Sorrow fills at early death
Freezes cold when realised life was never there.
“What have you done, with your life?”
“Don’t ask me, it will bleed me dry.”
“So can I wipe away your bones?”
“Do what you like, I’m stone-cold alone.”
The court rallies the jury.
“In which is your greatest crime?”
“My crime is avoiding my truth!”
So they sentence me a life-time –
When death would be more kind…
“Your prison is the bed you made,
Forever, never shared.
This is the price you pay!”
I look to my reflection bared:
This is the price I pay…
If only I weren’t so scared.
“Your last words to the court, if you have any?”
“I have many,
But an excuse is no use
When it is nothing but empty.
So I say only this,
May my young-self forgive me.”
To relive this torture everyday
Is to push forwards and move back again,
Sometimes free of my restraints –
Distractions from dreams lead me astray.
A pity prison for a petty plea
How picture-perfect for the joke on me.
“If you wanted so much from life
Then why not make it be?
You possessed what it took
Now you’re left lonely –“
Bon Voyage to my broken dreams…
Cornered by these prison walls
I meshed from strangled thoughts;
Too choked to make the call
To take action in these courts.
Deep apologies to
The one I used to be –
Our big dreams turned ugly
When all they did was prison me.
We should have had it all
But pressure took its toll;
Thicker than these prison walls.
I’ve nothing left but a suicide call.