Arrested Youth by Steven Halinski


Arrested Youth

 

My mind turns a cheek to thought –

Can’t think when feelings turn to nought

Sorrow fills at early death

Freezes cold when realised life was never there.

 

“What have you done, with your life?”

“Don’t ask me, it will bleed me dry.”

“So can I wipe away your bones?”

“Do what you like, I’m stone-cold alone.”

 

The court rallies the jury.

“In which is your greatest crime?”

“My crime is avoiding my truth!”

So they sentence me a life-time –

When death would be more kind…

 

“Your prison is the bed you made,

Forever, never shared.

This is the price you pay!”

I look to my reflection bared:

This is the price I pay…

If only I weren’t so scared.

 

“Your last words to the court, if you have any?”

“I have many,

But an excuse is no use

When it is nothing but empty.

So I say only this,

May my young-self forgive me.”

 

To relive this torture everyday

Is to push forwards and move back again,

Sometimes free of my restraints –

Distractions from dreams lead me astray.

 

A pity prison for a petty plea

How picture-perfect for the joke on me.

“If you wanted so much from life

Then why not make it be?

You possessed what it took

Now you’re left lonely –“

 

Bon Voyage to my broken dreams…

 

Cornered by these prison walls

I meshed from strangled thoughts;

Too choked to make the call

To take action in these courts.

 

Deep apologies to

The one I used to be –

Our big dreams turned ugly

When all they did was prison me.

We should have had it all

But pressure took its toll;

Thicker than these prison walls.

I’ve nothing left but a suicide call.

Steven Halinski

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2 thoughts on “Arrested Youth by Steven Halinski

  1. I have read ARRESTED YOUTH several times and once again find myself in that awkward place called ignorance. That place where I am bereft of adequate words to express any meaningful comment.
    One thing is clear to me, though: ARRESTED YOUTH is a sad poem. It appears to be a poem about a person arraigning him/herself against the court of their conscience on a charge of wasting their youth and of possibly losing or reneging on a loved one through some unforgivable misdemeanour.
    Something happened during this persons youth that caused their big dreams to turn ugly and now, unable to bear the pressure any long, they are contemplating suicide.
    Or. All of that is meaningless and it is just the sad story of the contemplation of a totally wasted life.

  2. Wow….I particularly liked the 7th verse. To give even more poignancy I would have perhaps had only 1 verse after ‘bon voyage’ to add more weight to the finality.

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