An Interview with Life by Steven Halinski

An Interview with Life


“What are your credentials?”

“I have none.”

“Are you all together?”

“No, I’m undone.”


“Where do you see yourself in five years?”

“Here, with these questions,

With still no answers, I fear.”


“What can you offer,

Anything at all?”

“Something, I think

But the chances are small.”


“What experience have you

That can be brought to the table?”

“I once burnt my house down

When I misread a label:

The label said: ‘flammable’

I thought it said ‘flame able’.”


“Oh…oh no, well at least you’re all right.”

“Oh I know, though the parrot had a fright.”

“Is it all right?”

“No, it choked it and croaked it by fire light.”




…Any other failures

You’d like to share?

Maybe ones with less blood shed

If you’d care?”


“I shot myself in the foot

When I was aiming for my head

Only cos I forgot to look,

But I’m useless, like I said.”


“I’ll note that down,

That sounds like a skill,

Maybe a better aim next time

And you might make a kill.”


I nod in reply,

“That sounds like a plan,

I’m pale and frail

So then I’d have a red tan.”


“That’s the basis of the basics

Do you have anything to add?”

“Well, yes, I do…

And to say it

Makes me feel sad…

I know we’ve not always gotten on

I’m lazy and do things wrong

You probably see me as bad,

And want to get rid of me just as bad,

But I’m young.

I’ve been hurt many times –

Even though it’s hard to carry on a life

Like mine…I would still like to try…”


“Hmm, you’re not the usual sort,

I’ll give you that,

I’ve dealt with a lot of weirdos

And you still are that…

But a second chance is on the cards

For poor hands in the past have made it hard.

I’m letting you off for now

But I suggest the next time we meet

That you get off your arse and onto your feet!”


“Oh and one more thing,

Now that we’re friends –

Please, whatever you do…

Don’t get a parrot again.”

2 thoughts on “An Interview with Life by Steven Halinski

  1. ‘An Interview With Life’ is a very good idea. Perhaps we should all have a go at least once.
    I like the sense of humourous interplay between the interviewee and the interviewer and see this poem as a light-hearted poke at the mundane life of a self confessed loser or ne’er-do-well. But one, who in spite of all that has or has not happened to him, ‘…would still like to try’.
    Once again, Steven. Well done.

    David R Graham


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