RESURRECTION by Barrie Purnell

RESURRECTION by Barrie Purnell

 When I fell in love with her beauty

We were young, naïve and free

We were so close there was no air between us

I was her and she became me

It was for her that I had been waiting

It was for her that my body yearned

But she told me she gave away nothing

Any favours would have to be earned

 

But she quickly overcame my defenses

She had developed love to an art

Before I knew it she had me surrounded

And had slipped past the guards to my heart

She carried me away with her dancing

To a place where I’d never been

She transported me with her love songs

To places I’d never seen

 

Expecting nothing from all our devotions

Caring not for who it was on the cross

We weren’t looking out for a saviour

To the priest we were already lost

We were drowning in oceans of kisses

Bathing in lakes of freshly shed tears

The smell of her skin stupefied me

Her arms held the noose tight on my fears

 

I surfed on the waves of her ardour

I was helpless she gave me no choice

She beguiled me and hypnotized me

With the tilt of her nose and the lilt in her voice

We thought that we’d be together forever

But at the bank of love our balance was low

We knew you have to give back what you’ve taken

You have to pay all the debts that you owe

 

Yes real life intruded into our passion

There were decisions which had to be made

We’d exhausted our credit with Eros

The piper had to be paid

She said she’d become a jet setting model

On the catwalks of Rome and Berlin

And I would be an industrial chemist

Making drugs that kept models thin

 

 Our affair never overcame separation

Our passion soon cooled and was spent

Addresses were lost or forgotten

The promised letters never were sent

We lost touch and found other lovers

Then by chance our paths crossed again

It was at a charity event that I saw her

Surrounded by urbane looking men

 

I wondered if she would remember

Or act as if we’d never met

I’d be hurt if she had forgotten

Was I that easy for her to forget?

I slid into the sphere of her vision

Did she find fortune and fame?

With relief I saw her smile at me

It was a sad smile just the same

 

We talked of our past infatuation

And the journeys we’d taken since then

But we were now both different people

That love was something we’d never regain

We breathed the same air at that moment

But we were no longer as one

Even when her arms were around me

The closeness we had once was gone

 

When I saw that the party was ending

I couldn’t let that be the end of the line

I offered to deputise for her taxi

To be with her for just one last time

She lived in a posh part of Cheshire

At number six Montgomery Drive

As we approached I could see that the houses

Were designed to impress those who arrive

 

I stopped at her gates and turning to me

She said I’ll e-mail you sometime next week

We’ll arrange to have lunch together

Her lips brushed a kiss on my cheek

But I knew that this wouldn’t happen

Our worlds had moved too far apart

I could see that despite her affection

There was no room for me in her heart

 

She may not have become a model

But achieved the lifestyle just as well

Sashaying up her catwalk of a driveway

In her little black dress by Chanel

I watched as she disappeared through her doorway

I hoped she’d turn round for my pride

But she went in without glancing backward

The gates closed with me still outside

 

Did I see her steal a look out the window?

In my mind I’ll pretend that she did

But in my mind I know that it’s over

In love’s gamble I had been outbid

I pushed her into the recess of remembrance

Where she’d lived for decades before

Her ghost had been finally exorcised

I didn’t need her love in my life anymore

 

But I hope sometimes she thinks of me fondly

Of promises made when we were young

And when she’s lonely and searching for someone

It will be my name on the tip of her tongue

She’ll never know how much I missed her embraces

How she hid in my heart all this time

How I remembered the way that she loved me

Because she will never be reading this rhyme

 

Your first love may always be special

But remember looking back it’s always the same

You only remember the good times

Forgetting all of the hurt and the pain

To avoid rejection and aching disappointment

Just remember your first love with affection

Don’t try breathing life into dead lovers

You will very rarely achieve resurrection