We are delighted to announce that the launch of our printed anthology ‘All the Write Pieces’ will be taking place at 6:00 p.m. on 9th May 2019 at Retford Library. An entertaining evening is promised as some of our talented contributors will be reading pieces from the book. Please do come and raise a glass to this new and exciting chapter for the group.
TEN ASPIRING WRITERS by Barrie Purnell
Once there were ten aspiring writers
At first everything was fine
One did not understand punctuation,
Notably the apostrophe’s location,
So then there were nine.
There were now nine aspiring writers
But one failed to differentiate
Their acronyms from their synonyms,
Their allonyms from their pseudonyms,
So then there were eight.
There were now eight aspiring writers
Sadly one was taken up to heaven.
Their death by electrocution
Severely limiting their contribution
So then there were seven.
There were now seven aspiring writers
But one was given to polemics
Chairman ruled it counterproductive,
Said this criticism wasn’t constructive,
So then there were six.
There were now six aspiring writers
But one of them didn’t survive
The pressure of periodic presentation
Which led to the death of inspiration
So then there were five.
There were now five aspiring writers
But one was shown the door
The pieces they wrote were much too long,
And the sexual content much too strong,
So then there were four.
There were now four aspiring writers
One was told their poetry should be free
But, for the purposes of timing,
They insisted it must be rhyming
So then there were three.
There were now three aspiring writers
There was him and me and you
They said I used too many clichés, I was cut to the quick,
I could see the writing on the wall, I had to get out quick,
So then there were two.
There were now two aspiring writers
They could see nothing could be done.
These writers were quite bereft
They put their pens in their pockets and left
And then there were none.
With the writers gone the room was silent
The empty table spoke of shattered dreams
Empty chairs a testament to their conceit,
Their struggles and their ultimate defeat
They’d found writing is not as easy as it seems.