A GOOD CATCH by Pete Brammer
It was 5 o’clock Saturday morning, in the quiet neighbourhood of Ballymurtle, Northern Ireland.
An alarm clock was going off, in the bedroom of Shane O’Callaghan, on his first day of retirement. Today he was going carp fishing, in Marley Park.
“OK, OK, I’ve heard you!” he snapped at the clock.
Once washed and dressed, he made his way down to the kitchen to
make a flask of coffee, which was placed in a rucksack, along with the
corned beef and jam sandwiches, made the night before.
After quickly downing a bowl of cornflakes and a mug of coffee,
Shane set off with his fishing gear, in his blue Ford Fiesta.
At the end of the street, he stopped to pick up a Daily Mirror, two
cans of beer, and a packet of strong mints, from Patel’s corner shop.
“Have a good day.” old man Patel called to him as he left the shop.
“Oh I will. You can be sure of that.”
The drive to Marley Park, took approximately thirty five minutes, mostly along narrow country lanes.
“Right you little beauties. Come to daddy.” he said as the hook and bait hit the water.
Two and a half hours later, without so much as nibble, Shane poured
himself a drink and began reading the sports pages in the paper.
“Hello there, Mr Fisherman.” a voice called out.
O’Callaghan looked round, but was unable to see anyone.
“I’m down here, sweetheart.”
Again he looked round and still saw no one.
“I’m down at the side of your flask, over here.”
“A talking bloody frog? I don’t believe it!”
The frog looked up at him. “You better believe it my friend. I’m going
to make you an offer, you cannot afford to turn down.”
“And what’s that?” he shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m talking to a bloody frog.”
“Well you are, so listen.”
“Go on then, let’s have it.”
“If you pick me up, then kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful, vivacious young woman. I will fulfill all your wildest fantasies. We can marry, and I promise all your friends will be envious of you.”
After thinking for a minute or two to considering the matter, Shane picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog went ballistic. “Why in heavens name haven’t you kissed me, you ungrateful swine? Are you crazy? Didn’t you hear what I said, for Christ sake? I’ve offered to be your beautiful bride.”
“No” replied Shane. “At my age, I’d rather have a talking frog.”