Two poems from Pete today – one funny the other poignant
A Doll of my own by Pete Brammer
Married six years to a beautiful girl,
The result of a lovely, ‘Blind date’
Until she had eyes for another,
Who happened to be, my best mate.
They ran off, to somewhere in Cornwall,
Leaving me here all alone,
I thought “By jove I’m a fitter,
I’ll fashion a doll of my own”.
Her head I made from a ballcock,
Glass marbles for eyes, blue and bright,
Luscious lips, of padded red velvet,
She was beginning to look a delight.
Her forty inch boobs were two basins,
Rubber dummies glued to their base,
A magazine picture of Lulu,
Sufficed, on a board, for a face.
Her arms and legs were Meccano,
So she couldn’t go out in the rain,
Making sure she was always submissive,
I failed to give her a brain.
Never once did she ever get headaches,
Engine oil, would loosen her cough,
When I yearned for peace and some quiet,
I’d reach over, and just switch her off.
A peck on the cheek, as I left for work,
Always a meal on the table,
Pipe and slippers, ready each night,
A relationship, happy and stable.
I wired her up, to the Hi-Fi,
And boy, was that lass a goer,
She danced for hours in the kitchen,
Then eloped one day, with the mower.